In a world where the Black male experience is deemed as monolithic - aggressive, scary, abrasive - the lives and perspectives of men are oftentimes placed into four categories as recognized by Psychology Today: (1) The Sturdy Oak, (2) The Big Wheel, (3) Give ‘Em Hell, and (4) No Sissy Stuff. These pillars of “toxic masculinity” are, generally, explored in psychological studies; I, however, had the pleasure of having an eye-opening conversation with creative Jason Rosario after watching him on a mental health panel at this year’s CultureCon, headed by The Creative Collective NYC.

Jason Rosario is the founder of The Lives of Men (TLoM), a creative agency and diversity accelerator that challenges and redefines traditional norms of masculinity while helping brands authentically promote diversity, foster inclusion, and impact culture through their products and content. In 2019, Jason was selected as one of Black Enterprise’s “BE Modern Men of Distinction” an honor that celebrates and elevates the narrative, images and contributions of men of color across cultures, communities and fields of endeavor across the nation and around the world. Read below as we dive deep into a conversation about masculinity, positive representation and the rise of the Black male.

As a writer, producer and all-around creative, how important is the positive representation of Black men to you in media, television, entertainment, etc.?

Representation matters. More importantly, POSITIVE representation matters. We get most of our cues about our identities from media, so it’s important that we leverage the medium to help change the narrative that we are just rappers, athletes, gangsters, etc. At a time where Black men seem to be under siege by law enforcement, it's become that much more important to help combat these images with positive representations of who we are and the rich tapestry of our lives.

You're the host of the Yahoo! News original series, "Dear Men," that takes a deep dive into navigating masculinity. How important is it to have these conversations about masculinity with men, and even with women who are dating men or raising young men?

We are living in interesting times, the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements have brought about a paradigm shift in the way we view masculinity. If nothing else, these movements have served to not only hold men accountable for our behaviors, it's also gifted us as opportunity to self-reflect. As men we are now forced to grapple with traditional ways of thinking that have caused harm to not only women, but to POC, the LGBTQ community, and other men. It's important to raise young men with healthier notions of what it means to be a man so that they can become fuller human beings.

You and I had the pleasure of speaking on the phone the other day and you brought up that you don't favor the term "toxic masculinity". For those readers not privy to our conversation, can you explain what that term means to you and why you don't prefer to use it?

I believe the phrase has become somewhat of a catch-all phrase and does not describe the problem, which in my mind is toxic behaviors learned and reinforced through the way society teaches boys about what it means to be men. It's become somewhat of a divisive term that moves us away from a constructive conversation about what and how men can change and become better men. That said, I also understand that toxic masculinity has harmed a lot of people, and that most of that harm has been caused by men, so I respect the use of it, I just hope we can be more direct in addressing the root causes of these issues by naming them.

Your creative agency, "The Lives of Men", challenges and redefines the social normalities of what is deemed as masculinity while also encouraging brands to promote diversity. What has your journey in entrepreneurship taught you about yourself as a man, and as a Black man navigating the entrepreneurial space in comparison to other ethnic competitors?

My journey as a Black man who is also an entrepreneur has been an exercise in practicing self-love. There are challenges for any entrepreneur looking to create something new and impactful, but for Black men there are added internal and external challenges we contend with. From navigating racism externally, to reconciling our imposter-syndrome, we are challenged with creating but also finding our voices within that experience.

We connected after your panel discussion during Culture Con around mental health in the Black community. How have your encounters with gender roles - especially as a Black man - influenced or hindered your growth in society?

I consider myself very lucky to have been raised by a Mother who taught me that there is nothing I, as a man, can’t do for myself. Whether cooking or cleaning, I’ve always been self-sufficient and never felt that a woman’s role was to be domestic. However, just because I don’t subscribe to gender roles does not mean that I am not guilty of exhibiting sexist or at times misogynistic behavior. We are all effected by a system of patriarchy that teaches us what is appropriate and what is not, so part of my work today is to become aware of that conditioning and replace it with a healthier set of values.

I don't really know of any easy way to put this, but have you ever experienced racism - whether blatant or underhandedly? If you have, how has that had an effect on your mental health?

Yes. both blatantly and underhandedly. It’s taken a toll on my sense of worth. Therapy has been helpful in helping me unpack those experiences. Having a great support system has as well.

What are three tips you'd like to give to our readers, specifically our men, about mental health and navigating the world as a Black man in a society, a system and a country that was built off of our backs but not necessarily for us?

Ask for help. There are no excuses anymore. We have everything we need at our fingertips to live healthier lives. The days of bottling things up for fear of appearing weak or soft are over.
Do the work. Take the time to get to know yourself. Alone. Resist the urge to distract yourself with material things, women, sex, money, etc. You have one job, that is to become the best version of yourself as you can.
Don’t subscribe to anyone else’s narrative of who you are and what your life should be.

Self-Actualization and Masculinity: Creative Entrepreneur Jason Rosario Gets Real On Redefining Traditional Norms