Cassie Deserves Better: A Fucked Up Reminder About Misogynoir
Via: North Eastern
We're in the era of shit coming to light, and the case for Diddy has taken center stage in 2024. In November of 2023, Cassie, Diddy's former girlfriend, filed a civil suit against Diddy for sexual abuse. Diddy and Cassie's team quickly settled the suit without revealing details. Despite settling the suit, social and mainstream media questioned Diddy's inclination toward a payment resolution rather than fighting for his innocence. There was enough social influence that impacted his image, which caused him to lose 18 brand partnerships. But what happened to Cassie and her credibility even though there was enough suspicion that Diddy did these things? She was seen as the first of many women to do the same thing, eventually to "collect their checks." No one doubted that her experience was real, but they weren't willing to publicly acknowledge her struggle, trauma, and re-traumatization by her deciding to hold her abuser accountable.
Misogynoir [mə-ˌsä-jə-ˈnwär]: The specific hatred, dislike, distrust, and prejudice directed toward Black women (often used attributively).
The video, which showed Diddy running after Cassie in a towel, knocking her down, kicking her, and dragging her down the hotel hallway, was nothing short of grotesque. The blatant misogynoir from Black men regarding the video of Cassie getting assaulted by Diddy was palpable. Comments ranged from the disbelief of Cassie being hurt to jokes about how "easy" Diddy took it on her in comparison to other well-known abusers. This was enough evidence that misogynoir is still very present, not only in the general sense of American society but also at the foundation of Black culture. One of our sorrows is that patriarchy has divided black culture. What they perceive as their stronghold may, in truth, prove detrimental to all. The studies on black women bear witness to this. But Some of Us Are Brave: All the Women Are White, All the Blacks Are Men: Black Women's Studies
The public is more outraged about Diddy being gay than about him being an abuser. And with the state of #METOO, society has to reconcile why there isn't much outrage over Diddy's abusive actions against women. It's no surprise that the only reason there is more disgust about Diddy's sexual escapades with men is because the majority of women who have come out against him have been Black women. This message has remained clear to Black women for decades, regardless of community, industry, or institution, and that their issues, concerns, well-being, and safety aren't a priority.
Believe Black Women
Narrative matters, but belief matters more because they shape narratives. Black women have been given a narrative since slavery, and all of those narratives have somehow culminated with the premise that Black women are less than, not human. They have made them believe that their fight against the odds for the bare essentials is the only thing people should pay attention to. Essentially, Black women existing is disgusting, but watching them defeat all of the odds and metaphorically "fight" for a seat at a dirty table with uneven legs is entertaining. "Entertaining" is an odd word as it suggests that there is no aloofness society has about the plight of Black women and that the struggle they endure provides more amusement than it does concern, and that's perfectly accurate.
Shortly after Diddy's assault video against Cassie came out, he sent out a video online to not only express his apologies for others having to see it but that he took "accountability" and that his actions were inexcusable and were the result of a "dark" time. It seems more important to believe a man, to feel sorry for him. He plays the victim of a pitiful narrative, but in reality, he has chosen to harm a woman. We can all go through “dark” times, but only abusers abuse, and only the irresponsible and inhumane use of his supposed humanity as an excuse. Enough of feeling sorry for Diddy and all of them. It’s time for true accountability.
It's important to note that the same allegations that Cassie made in November 2023, the same ones that Diddy's lawyers called "outrageous and offensive," seemed to depict the exact things Cassie described in her account. How is it that Diddy had amnesia in November 2023 but could conveniently remember this "dark" time now? Society continues to show that narrative continues to matter more than belief. That is, it's not a matter of whether there is validity in something happening, but that there is this entertainment in believing the narrative even if it means someone gets hurt. There has never been a time when Black women weren't on the receiving end of this fact.
Why is it that, despite allegations in November 2023, video footage of the abusive act, and a public acknowledgment from the abuser himself aren't enough for society to see a Black woman as someone who doesn't deserve that treatment? Why is it that instead of Cassie being embraced by her community, her abuser's heartless "apology" video was made into a meme as a "fun" way of communicating with insincerity? Why were Cassie and the future Diddy survivors' stories so entertaining that we'd rather be thirsty for the details than concerned with their well-being? Why does believing Black women continue to be a secondary choice that we make even though we know what they're saying is true?
Believing Black women has nothing to do with observing footage or evidence but everything to do with outrage and space for their stories and tears. Believing Black women has nothing to do with how they tell their stories but everything to do with putting them on platforms and flooding social media algorithms. Believing Black women has nothing to do with being the "perfect victim" and everything to do with them not deserving any of the bullshit they go through daily. And believing Black women has never had anything to do with Black women but with those who have consistently refused to see their humanity.