S.B.8.: Male Supremacy and the War on Women
By Ashley Simpo
I had my first abortion when I was twenty years old. It was one of the most emotionally painful things I have ever experienced. Today, I would have a seventeen-year-old had I not walked into a Planned Parenthood clinic, passed protestors spewing hatred at me as I walked by, and terminated a pregnancy that would have ruined my life. I have never regretted it for a single day.
The man I was pregnant by was incredibly abusive. He once slapped me so hard across the face that I fell flat onto my back, my head hitting the cold tile floor. We were standing in line at a bank. The patrons in front of us turned around to see what happened as I ran out, embarrassed and ashamed and wanting to forget. I screamed at him as a few people filed out of the bank. He stood silent, taking it, knowing he had gone too far. Ten minutes later, in the car, he slapped me across the face while I was driving, telling me I was weak for making a big deal out of nothing. I was seven weeks pregnant at the time.
I knew if I had his baby, I would never escape him. I didn't even know if I could have an abortion. By the time he slammed my back into a doorknob, leaving lifelong damage to my spine, I was twelve weeks along. But I called Planned Parenthood anyway and asked questions, refusing to give them my name. They told me I could come in, be assessed and discuss it with a doctor. No one knew that my backup plan was suicide.
I think about that decision a lot, especially when I had my son nine years ago. I looked at his brand new face and wondered who my first pregnancy would have produced. I think about the father figure they would have had, a man who put my life in danger for sport. Someone who had no respect for women or himself. What kind of child could a beaten-down woman and a monster raise?
The second abortion I had was in March of 2020, during the emergence of the pandemic. I've never spoken about this publicly, but here it is. I was furloughed, unexpectedly expecting and watching daily briefings about a spreading virus that no one knew the fate of. I already had one child to raise, and at the time, was struggling to do so. It was a time of great uncertainty, and I felt that all of my existing energy had to be dedicated to the child I already had. It wouldn't be fair to him or a new baby to press on and willingly walk us into a life of struggle when I could avoid it altogether. Because of the pandemic, my options were limited. And as I walked out, a dose already in my system (no turning back), I remember feeling grateful that I had the right to make the choice that I did. I have never regretted this for a single day.
The Supreme Court has failed women and children and ushered in a new reality that will change lives forever. Anti-abortion rhetoric dismisses us and assigns us to a monolith. No matter who she is, a woman opting for abortion must be a scared 16-year-old who forgot to use condoms. Men have the privilege to forget what abortion truly looks like:
About 60% of abortion patients already have at least one child.
Only 12% of abortion patients are under 18.
75% of abortion patients are living below the poverty line.
This is not a demographic of irresponsibility and flawed thinking. On the contrary, these are people who exist within very limiting circumstances, who know their capacity and who likely have already fallen through every crack available in society.
But men don't understand this reality. How could they?
Men exist in a world where no one regulates their sexual organs…
If you want to join the fight against this flagrant injustice, here are resources and action items:
Share your story on social media using #BansOffOurBodies
Sign the petition: Text SB8 to 22422 or visit wearepp.org/SB8
Make a donation: Text "Texas" to 22422 or visit wearepp.org/Texas
If you are in need of help, you can search for an independent clinic here: https://abortioncarenetwork.org/find-a-clinic/
Ashley Simpo (she/her) is a writer and editor based in Brooklyn, New York, and the Managing Editor for America Hates Us. She has penned essays and op-eds about parenthood, Black womanhood, and mental health. Her words and work have been featured in Self, Marie Claire, Huffington Post and The New York Times. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
